Roommates share a special bond: a group of people who know each other, or who meet through ads, to get a break from the exorbitant rent that we could never pay alone.
I myself have rented and had roommates for more than five years, so I am all too familiar with this situation!
So, what if, miraculously, one of your roommates happens to be an attractive,bubbly, hot girl – and you’re interested in her.
This changes everything. If you miss your shot, things will get awkward, even unbearable, ruining your home life and that of your roommates.
So, here’s the question: can you hook up with your roommate? If so, how should you go about it?
1. The disadvantages of living with others
Before you even talk about hook-ups, I want to go back to the idea of roommates. Leave behind any references to “Friends” or “How I Met your Mother.”
The reality is quite different.
Having had more than a dozen different roommates, from close friends to total strangers, I can tell you that you never really know someone until you live under the same roof.
Living together means exposing all your flaws: hygiene, noise, food, moodiness, money problems, family problems, business problems, etc.
But you don’t realize all that at first. Before you know each other well, small things can build up and explode (What will you buy together? Who should clean?What food can you share? Etc.). It’s important to be able to be open with each other.
And that’s not even mentioning the group dynamic. If there are three, four, or five of you, and two people become a couple, it can lead to jealousy, taking sides, and ridiculous fights. Believe me – I know from experience.
Having said that, not everything about sharing an apartment is bad. It’s easier to plan parties, you meet your roommates’ friends, you don’t have to live alone, and if you get along well, you always have someone to drink with!
2. Your roommate: the simplified approach
Back to the subject at hand. If you really like your roommate, you’re obviously in a delicate situation. You live with her.
Because of that, it’s very easy to get to know her well, spend time with her, and let her see your charming personality. You can get on her good side without seeming desperate or pervy.
The downside is that coming on too strong ormoving too quickly will land you in the friendzone in two seconds flat. You’re on a tightrope and you’ve got to keep up the balancing act.
Here are some tips to lay the groundwork with your crush:
- Your roommate’s relationship status:
It’ll be really easy to know if your roommate has a boyfriend or if she is single. Even if she’s seeing someone, you could still have a chance.
She lives with other men – if a day-to-day sexual tension develops, it’ll eventually get to her, especially if you carefully build an attractive and appealing image. You have to be patient, and keep your cool when her boyfriend comes over you hear the bed creaking.
Obviously, this is not ideal, but I wanted to cover all possibilites. When I started to write this article, I was thinking more of a situation where you are both single. If that is the case, you’re in a good position to make yourself a viable option.
- The approach:
Your approach, provided youexecute it properly, lays the foundation for the relationship you’re looking for, whether that is being friends-with-benefits or a more serious relationship.
To seduce your roommate, you have to be aware of her desires and expectations. In the course of natural conversation, what she’s looking for in arelationship will eventually come up. It’s up to you to pay attention to what she wants in a man so that you can show her later that you are everything she is looking for.
Now, there is no space in your “approach” for voyeurism or exhibitionism. I DO NOT advise walking into the bathroom “accidentally” when she is taking a shower, nor walking around the apartment in your underwear to show off your abs or the size of your penis. This is NOT attractive, and it makes you look superficial.
Your goal is simply to provide evidence that you are a serious man (who goes to work, who has self-improvement projects going on at home, who might even be learning a foreign language), respecting her privacy, but ready to know more about her.
3. Making a move
Living under the same roof as a woman, you definitely learn a lot about her personal tastes in movies, food, art, etc.
To show her your interest, you will have to create romantic situations, but keep them ambiguous enough that it’s not too obvious. Keep in mind that this staging will almost certainly have to be repeated several times.
For example, try to take advantage of an evening that you will both be at home(at the worst, you can ask the others to go sleep somewhere else or go out to dinner and a movie).
Rent or download a movie that she’ll like, prepare (or buy) a meal she loves, dress properly, buy a rose, and put it in a vase on the coffee table in the living room.
Sit in the living room and wait for your roommate to make her appearance. Tell herthat even though everyone else went out, you were thinking you could still have a fun evening. Since it’s just you two at home, it will seem natural to spend the evening together.
If she asks about the rose, just tell her that the living room needed some color, and since there was a feminine presence around, you wanted to honor it.
Moments like that are the perfect time to establish a strong sexual tension – by looking into her eyes, possibly by touching her thigh during the movie, or by letting her put on your sweater if she’s cold (your scent can have a magical power over a woman you’re interested in).
What you need to do is to create your own little world, showing her that there is something special and strong between you two. Soon, she’ll want to spend more and more time with you.
Don’t be afraid to open a couple of bottles of wine and share them with your roommates (that always leads to more honest, candid discussions).
At the end of one of those evenings, after everyone else has gone to sleep, you can ask her to come and have a drink in your room…
I can assure you that this easy trick works wonders!
In any case, I had no trouble showing my interest by orchestrating a couple of evenings in, by going into her room to talk about whatever, or by calling her into mine to “show her something on my computer…” and have a little fun!
Anyway, it doesn’t hurt to try, and you could win big!