How to Be Cool: The world is a lot like high school.
The cooler and more confident you appear, the more attractive you will be to women and the more success you will likely have in life.
This is a dream come true for men who have natural confidence — but a total nightmare for men who don’t.
Here are 7 simple lessons on how to be cool from a former-nerd-turned-playboy.
1. Create a Positive Mental Image
A lot of guys think that being cool and confident is all about behavior.
How you walk, how you talk, how you carry yourself, etc.
But in reality, the mindset comes first. The actions come second.
There is no chicken or egg problem when it comes to confidence.
To showcase the calm, cool, confident attitude that turns women on, you need to truly have confidence in yourself.
If you fake it, people will notice.
The easiest way to think about improving your self-image is to focus on the things you like about yourself and stop fixating on the things you dislike about yourself.
Try these mental exercises:
- Positive affirmations: Write down 1-3 things you liked about yourself each night before bed and read it in the morning for 30 days
- Thought stopping: A process of shutting down negative thoughts like jealousy or envy by simply saying “No” in your head when they pop up
- Stop requiring external validation — validate yourself like a strong and confident man
2. Dress for Success
The way that you dress reflects your opinion of yourself and your values.
As a result, your wardrobe sends a powerful message to the people around you.
Put yourself in the shoes of an attractive young woman for a moment.
Do you want the guy in the tailored suit to approach you — or the guy in the video game t-shirt with a mustard stain on it?
The answer is obvious.
The way you dress has a massive impact on your ability or inability to attract women.
3. Exercise and Lift Weights
By exercising regularly, you will start to build your self-esteem.
There are several reasons for this.
First, exercise releases chemicals into the brain that literally make you feel happier — making exercise a perfect way to get out of a bad mood.
Second, you’ll like the way you look in the mirror.
This will make you carry yourself with more swagger.
Last, other people — especially women — will take notice and begin to show you more respect.
4. Fix Your Body Language
Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself.
Are you standing tall, chin up, shoulders back? Or are you slouching?
A cool, confident man has excellent posture.
As I’ve written about previously, alpha males exude a confident energy while beta males have a nervous energy.
Your posture is a huge part of the energy signals you convey to the world.
Here are a few posture pointers:
- Your shoulders should be back with your head up (think about Superman’s posture)
- Your feet should be about hip width apart
- Balance your weight on both feet evenly. Don’t shift back and forth, this makes you look nervous and uncomfortable.
- Sit up, don’t slouch in your chair
5. Practice Communicating
Being able to tell a story.
Holding a room in suspense.
These are the qualities of an alpha man and these qualities turn women on like crazy.
Here are three ways to improve your communication skills in your day-to-day life.
First, when speaking, always remember “Slow and Low.”
Just like in cooking, slow and low makes for a better final product.
Hurried, rambling, and high-pitched speech makes you seem nervous.
To speak slowly, think about each word before you say it.
This will feel awkward at first, but trust me, it works.
Second, learn to be comfortable with silence.
Don’t try to fill pauses in conversation with words or scramble to keep a conversation going.
Let it flow naturally.
Third, practice speaking to strangers.
It doesn’t have to be attractive women you speak to.
Practice speaking to the check-out person at the grocery story, the gas station clerk, or just a random person at your laundromat while folding clothes.
Just try to practice keeping a conversation going with strangers — it will boost your confidence and make you a better conversationalist at the same time.
6. Smile and Laugh Often
Looking back at some of the most confident men I’ve known in my life, I always remember one thing about them: what their laugh sounded like.
Loud, boisterous, and filled with joy.
They weren’t trying to hide their laugh or cover it up, they were just enjoying the moment.
Similarly, smiling has been proven to make people like you more. And that’s how to be cool more than anything else.
As most people already know, smiling improves your mood, even if you’re faking it — which in turn improves your self-confidence.
The key for both laughing and smiling is to be genuine.
Practice smiling in the mirror.
Try to avoid the obviously fake “selfie smile” by thinking about something that makes you genuinely happy.
7. Make Strong Eye Contact
Women love subtly testing men.
They don’t even realize they’re doing it, but they definitely do it.
One of the many ways women test men is through strong eye contact during conversation.
Always look at the woman you’re speaking to for as long as she holds eye contact with you.
The nervous, beta man will avoid eye contact. This displays a lack of strength, character, and confidence.
The alpha man is not afraid to hold eye contact with neither men nor women.
Women pick up on this inner strength, whether consciously or subconsciously, and will be attracted to you as a result.
Does Talking to Super Hot Women Make You Nervous? You’re Not Alone
Fostering the kind of cool confidence that drives women crazy can take time.
But many men want to know how to attract and seduce women right now.
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I didn’t believe it at first, because it seemed too good to be true. But then I saw it in action….
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