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How To Be More Charismatic And Influential - Your Alpha Dude

August 5

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How To Be More Charismatic And Influential

By Ariel Vagus

August 5, 2019


2K Shares
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Not everyone is born naturally charismatic but it is something that you can practice, and a skill that you can hone in. In this article I will teach you “how to be more charismatic” and what skills you need to practice to make it second nature. I hope you will find it helpful.

Charisma is the ability to influence, persuade, and lead other people by effective communication. Charisma is a compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others. It’s that enigmatic appeal that inspires confidence which participants and onlookers alike can’t resist but to be attracted to it, by wanting to bask in their presences, get their acquaintances, and hang on to their every word.

Charisma is establishing a powerful presence, making wise decisions, supporting the people around you, acting on the bright side of thing.

Most of us have met individuals that make us feel at ease minutes, or even seconds after first meeting them. We can’t help but listen to every word they have to say and feel good whenever they are around. Due to their combination of warmth and power, charismatic people can make for better leaders and usually do better than average in business, social life, and dating.

In this article, I will introduce you with some influential processes that can help you to develop your charismatic personality. You can learn how to appear confidence when it comes to charming lots of people. This will help you de-stress and relax and become charismatic in a healthy and creative way.

 

>> Charismatic Body language

Charismatic people are not just interesting, but interested too. Being charismatic is something more than being able to speak without anxiety and fear. It is about effective communication that can help you influence others.

Body language communicates your emotions and motivations, likes and dislikes, interest and disengagement. If you don’t think your body has a language of its own, think again. A large percentage of communication and how people perceive you comes from body language. This includes posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements.

Your body language might reveal your true feelings or intentions. Perhaps you feel tired, angry, bored, frustrated, or enthusiastic etc…

By managing your body language and sending appropriate signals in specific situations, you receive positive feedback and feel assured you aren’t sabotaging your own success or the perceptions of others. More importantly, when you practice powerful, positive body language, you’re sending messages to your brain to reinforce positive, confident feelings. Confident body language actually makes you feel more confident.

 

Practice Smiling

Smiling not only makes you more attractive and trustworthy, it also improves your health, your stress level, and your feelings about yourself. Smiling slows the heart and relaxes the body, and it releases endorphins that counteract and diminish stress hormones.

It also has been shown to increase productivity while performing tasks. According to several studies, smiling can trick your brain into feeling happy, even when you feel sad as you’re smiling.

 

Make Open Gestures

Gestures can show people you’re competent. During a presentation, don’t be afraid to show people what you’re referring to or use your hands to communicate with them. People feel as though you’re personable and know what you’re talking about when they see how comfortable you are with your gestures.

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But on the other hand, exaggerating your gestures can imply that you’re stretching the truth. Spreading your arms apart or gesturing with your palms exposed communicates that you have nothing to hide.

Use Appropriate Eye Contact

Eye contact suggests you’re truthful, engaging, and approachable. It imparts a sense of intimacy and confidence to your interactions, and makes the other person feel more positive and connected to you. However, too much eye contact can send the signal that you’re aggressive or maybe even a little strange. When eye contact goes from gazing to staring, it makes people uncomfortable and actually activates their sympathetic nervous system.

Remember to not overdo it, though. If you never break eye contact with someone, they may perceive you as awkward or confrontational. Be sure to take breaks by looking away from time to time. Since looking down can make you seem secretive or week, turn your gaze to the side instead.

 

Strong Handshake

A strong, solid handshake is a universal sign of confidence, and everyone, including women, should have one. A handshake should be strong, but not crushing, offered with a cool dry hand and a few up and down shakes, as well as a few seconds of eye contact.

It is a sign of mutual respect from both parties and makes a great first impression. A sweaty, limp, “dead fish” handshake has the opposite effect. Whether or not you feel confident, a firm handshake will boost your feelings and make others see you as more confident.

 

Sit Up Straight

Your non-verbal communication is the first clue strangers use to form their first impression of you. Even when you’re not speaking, you’re still communicating with your posture, facial expressions and gestures. Slouching is a sign of disrespect because it says that you’re either bored or have no interest of being where you are.

When you sit or stand up straight, you not only fill the space around you in a charismatic way, but you’re also conveying success. This is because being in an upright position with your shoulders back is a power position. People who sit up straight seem confident and ready to take action. When you stand straight, with your shoulders back and head held high, you look self-assured and poised.

 

Never Cross Your Arms or Legs

Crossing your arms suggests you feel defensive, self-protective, and closed off. It can suggest you dislike them or feel discomfort when you cross your legs away from another person. same with  ankles, it can signal you’re holding something back and not expressing it (unless you’re a woman who was taught to do this as a “ladylike” position to show grace or being graceful).

If you clasp your hands behind your back, you might be saying you feel bored, anxious, or even angry. Hands clasped and crossed over the genitals is a self comfort gesture that reveals vulnerability or shyness. Tapping your fingers and fidgeting tells others you are bored, impatient, or frustrated.

 

Chameleon Effect

Mirror the Other Person’s Body Language. People like people who are like them. Body language can help you seem much more like the person you’re speaking with. Research shows that when we imitate other people’s non-verbal cues, we can actually understand the emotions they are experiencing a lot better. If the person is leaning in, you should do the same.

These should be casual movements so the person doesn’t catch on to what you are doing. Plus, mimicking facial expressions will make the other person feel an increase of positive feelings from the interaction.

Bonus: If you are talking with a woman and you find her a bit interesting and want to escalate things further then try to show the woman that you are mimicking her as this will build the sexual attraction and lets her know that you are interested in her and want her to reinvest in you.

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>> Charismatic Behavior

Charismatic leaders are extremely good listeners. When they listen to you, they don’t fidget or look distracted. A charismatic leader pays attention to what is being said, and listens with interest. They are engaged in the conversation and act with empathy.

 

Use Humor

Humor is a great way to diffuse tension and anxiety for yourself and those around you. It’s hard to be funny when you aren’t feeling confident, but all of us have been in funny situations or seen something amusing in a video, movie, or on TV.

Sharing these stories or drawing out your listeners to share something funny themselves is a great way to lighten the conversation and connect the group. With practice, you can find ways to add levity into your conversations by tapping into your own natural sense of humor.

Think about a recent humorous event or situation you experienced or heard about. Practice verbalizing the story in front of the mirror or share it with one or two people you feel comfortable around. Have a couple of funny stories in your mind and ready for the next time you’re in a group. Just be sure the story is appropriate for the listeners!

 

Be Confident

Confidence is your projection of yourself and your security. Be aware of clinginess and guilt-tripping. One of the hallmarks of low confidence is clinginess and insecurity. When you aren’t confident, you compensate by seeking reinforcement and subtly manipulating the other person through neediness and guilt.

You fear they may leave you, so you hold on tighter which ultimately pushes them away and sabotages your self-respect. Maybe you have legitimate reasons to feel
insecure, Only healthy, open, and confident communication will help you address any real issues.

In order to gain more and more confidence, you must convince your subconscious mind that you are good enough, you must change all the negative beliefs you hold about yourself, you must learn to trust yourself, and your source – your definition of God or universe.

Know What You’re Talking About

Solid preparation is key to feeling confident, especially in communication. Whether you’re having a discussion with a friend about politics or making a presentation or any topic, you’ll feel much more self-assured if you know your facts and have thoroughly prepared. You need to make a worthwhile contribution to a conversation in order to appear (and feel) credible and on top of your game.

If you have to communicate something difficult or complicated, be sure you’re able to break it down so your listener(s) can understand your message. It’s not just a matter of knowing your facts, but also learning how to present them.

Do you have an upcoming conversation or meeting in which you must share information or ideas? How can you thoroughly prepare by mastering the necessary material, as well as adapting your message to the audience? What topics interest you that you might share in conversation? Read and research more about these topics so you feel knowledgeable and confident.

 

Financial Independence

A charismatic person knows the power of money and is always looking to expand and grow whatever he has. He may splurge once in a while on something that he really wants, but in general, he is careful with his money for his future. He does whatever it takes to get his finances under control. Charismatic person does everything in his power to not ever be dependent upon anyone else for his needs.

Getting financially independent will give you the power. I’m not saying you have to have a good decent net worth, I’m not saying you need to have 7-figures income to get charismatic. But when you’re financially independent then it’s YOU who steer your vehicle.

Financial independence is more than just having a lot of money. It hinges on living around your values and prioritizing what is most important to you. We often have fear around money tied to our needs for freedom and security. These fears also reveal a belief that money is a scarce resource that isn’t enough to go around. A scarcity mindset undermines confidence and cripples our career and financial decisions.

The best way to gain financial freedom is to stop being entitled for anything in life. Instead, use your core values as a guide to determine your life priorities. Focus your time, energy, and money on those priorities only.

Just think how a man could be charismatic when he’s entitled to his parent’s money or anything…. Entitlement is a disease and it has to be cured.

 

Set goals.

If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you going to get there? With any life or career achievement, setting goals is the fastest way to success. And better create financial goals. Creating and achieving financial goals makes you feel in control of your destiny and more confident in your ability to be disciplined and focused.

There’s no doubt that setting goals increases your chance of success and the frequency of your success. Setting a goal is the first and most important step toward any achievement.

The individual Action Steps to accomplish the goal are the catalyst to turn the inert goal into something dynamic and real. Both the actions toward and the achievement of your goal will boost your confidence hence charisma. With every step forward, you feel empowered and motivated to continue. With every accomplishment, you’ll believe more and more in your capacity for success.

 

Be Adventurous

It doesn’t mean that you have to go climb Mount Everest, but it does mean that you have to have that adventurous spirit. Taking calculated risks at work, and in play is one of the key trait of charismatic persons. It is that extra amount of testosterone that pushes and drives them to push harder than normal and to take risks. Of course, do it with balance and good information and follow your intuition – if you do so, you will succeed.

Bonus: Adventure is exciting for most women, and they will love it if you decide to take them with you along on your journeys. And they will want you even more if you don’t let them go!

>> Charismatic Mindset

Charisma begins with your mindset. True charisma comes from within. Yes, external stuff can help, from clothes to voice to smiles, hand gestures and body language, but the real charisma and magnetism comes from within. All charismatic people possess a mindset of empowering beliefs that build and develop their personal magnetism.

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Be Your Authentic Self

This may come as a surprise to you, but in reality, who you really are is a charismatic person. Your authentic self is already charismatic. The only reason why you may not be feeling like you are one now is because of all of the negative beliefs that you have about yourself, which has changed who you really are, which in turn, has changed how you act in your world.

So, what can you do to be your true authentic self?

Number one is that you have got to stop caring about what other people think about you. What other people think of you is none of your business! Let it go, don’t care. The only reason why you may be caring too much about what others think is because society has put forth that belief that you should care – why? Mainly because if you can be brainwashed into believing that you should care about what other people think, then it will be easier to control you.

As a charismatic person, it is important to dress well and have the things that you want, but the point is that you’ve got to get to the point where you just don’t care what other people think. The true charismatic person doesn’t get frazzled by anything outside of himself.

 

Forge Your Own Path

Forging your own path means doing what you love, finding your highest excitement, doing what you are passionate about, and totally going for it! It’s a no-holds-barred mentality where you give your dreams EVERYTHING you’ve got!

Why do that? Because when you believe in yourself and in your mission, others will believe in you too. But if they don’t, then forget them! Whether your path is to help the homeless, or whether your path is to develop new software that will revolutionize the planet, or whether you are on a mission to be financially free, or whether your path is to run for president, do it with all you’ve got and do it with all of your heart.

 

Remove Negativity

If you want to be charismatic, you should do all that you can to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. You are where you are, and the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up for having negative thoughts.

It’s really not your fault because most guys who have had childhoods where they weren’t the top dogs their whole life will have negative thoughts that carry over into adulthood. These negative thoughts were created from events that happened to them when they were a child.

But the one who believes in himself and his provider [ god/Universe ] and overcomes all the negativity and does what’s best for him without having the fear of failure or fear of success is the one who becomes charismatic in no time. Cause he will be busy in the stuffs that will be giving him happiness, be it work, joy, you name it.

 

Remove Stress

We all deal with it. Whether it arises from our jobs, family life, drama with friends, a relationship problem, or finances, stress is there. While a little stress is good for you, allowing you to grow physically and mentally, excessive and chronic stress is harmful.

Stress is the feeling of being under too much mental or emotional pressure. Pressure becomes stress when you feel unable to cope. Everyone reacts differently to stress and experiences different stressors, or things that cause stress. Common stressors include work, relationships, and money. Stress can affect how you feel, think, and behave. It can also impact how your body functions.

Common signs of stress include anxiety, worrisome thinking, sleeping problems, sweating, loss of appetite, and difficulty concentrating, among others. It is worth taking the time to learn different strategies and techniques for managing your stress before there are serious consequences for your mental and physical well-being.

Prolonged stress can even lead to tension headaches and other health problems that limit your functioning at work and in your relationships. Rather than letting your stress take over your life, try some methods of stress-management that you can apply to prevent and deal with stress.

 

Action Steps To reduce Stress

To reduce your stress, get 8 hours of sleep every night and practice relaxing your body through daily exercise and weekly massage. Techniques like deep breathing exercises, guided meditation, and practicing yoga can also help you reduce physical and mental stress in the moment and during your day. If you’re not sure where your stress is coming from, try journaling for 20 minutes every day to get down to the root cause of your stress. Then, take action to reduce those triggers or avoid them altogether!

 

Know Your Core Values

Your core values are your defining life principles. It’s essential for you to know your values and to do whatever you can to align your life with them. Living in harmony with your values creates the fertile environment for confidence and contentment. They help you clarify what is most important in your work and life, and provide a navigation system for making big decisions, finding your life passion, and living authentically.

Defining your core values also enhances self-awareness, improves your relationships, and helps you set and achieve your goals. And every charismatic person have their own beliefs and values. So its important for you to know your core values and a good belief.

Define your integrity.

Integrity is a value, and even if you haven’t listed it as a core value, it’s one you must embrace if you want to have confidence, charisma and self-respect. Integrity reflects your consistent commitment to your values, morals, principles, standards, and the behaviors that reflect those. These behaviors include honesty, reliability, and loyalty, as well as consideration of others and tolerance of differences, personal responsibility, fairness, kindness, compassion, and citizenship.

If you haven’t fully defined what integrity means in your life, or if you are living outside of your integrity, you will feel bad and lose self-respect. It also can negatively impact your career and your relationships. So better define your integrity and live by them in order to be charismatic with people and influence them.

 

Action Steps To Define Integrity

A good place to start is by noticing where you have feelings of guilt, regret, or remorse. What caused those feelings, and what would you change if you had to do it over again? What have you done to rectify these situations?

Look again at the behaviors of integrity (honesty, reliability, and loyalty, as well as consideration of others and tolerance of differences, personal responsibility, fairness, kindness, compassion, and citizenship) to see where you need to define or improve your integrity.

 

Conclusion

Charisma is a skill you can learn, practice, and improve over time, just like any other skill. Brain science has proven repetitive thoughts and actions actually rewire neural pathways to foster measurable change.

And yes when you practice charismatic actions and thoughts repeatedly, you will eventually feel charismatic. As your charisma grows, those pockets of insecurity and self-doubt will shrink and have much less power over your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Have something valuable and beautiful to offer the world, your community, your friends and family. You have the intelligence, resources, and desire to reach your goals, create success as you define it, and become the person you want to be.

And also got the power to build your charisma so you have the motivation and self-belief to make all of these things happen. Don’t wait another day to take action. An extraordinary life awaits you.

Now, you know how to be more charismatic and influential, I recommend YOU to check out my in-depth article on Alpha Male BODY LANGUAGE.

Warning: If you’re not comfortable with making women wet then don’t read this article.

>> Shocking Secrets to Alpha Male Body Language.

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Ariel Vagus

About the author

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