This article is not one of those trashy ‘tips and tricks on “How To Get A Girlfriend”. This is the ultimate guide to finding girls, to talking with them and closing the deal with your dream girl and making her your girlfriend.
This ultimate guide on how to get a girlfriend consist of three parts:
1. Finding the girl
2. Talking to them
3. Closing the deal
And that’s it, no bullsh*t, no drama like many other so called dating “Gurus” and many dating websites does, resulting confusing contents over internet, misleading YOU and making YOU even more confused and leaving you dried in the dark like you are now supposed to automatically have a girlfriend.
The sole purpose of this article is to get you a girlfriend! After you’re done, there will be no excuse to why you can’t have a girlfriend in your arm and bed every night. This article will give you practical tips you can use to help increase your chances of getting and keeping a girlfriend. So, what are you waiting for? Start attracting your perfect girl right now.
keep reading and TAKE ACTIONS or else she’ll be somebody else’s girlfriend! Your choice.
1. Finding The Girl
I don’t know whether you have already a bunch of girls in your mind, you want to attract and be with. Or just you want to go on a hunt and play your hunting game on a consistent basis to make her your girlfriend. The first and foremost part is to find them.
Places to find girls:
Think there are no girls in your town, your state, your country? You are single because there just are not any girl, right? I don’t think so. One of the most common hurdles guys tell me that they face is that they don’t know where to find girls, I want to give you an insight into how to overcome this so that you know that not meeting girl is really due to your mindset and not the reality of the situation.
You may not live on Broadway, NYC, or South Beach, MIA, or Hollywood, CA, but here are my top places to find girls in your local area:
Without making any jokes about how much women like to shop; one of the key places to meet women is where they hang out during the day. If you are attracted to someone, it is perfectly ok to strike up a conversation while you are going about your day-to-day activities. So next time you see a cute woman shopping for some groceries, buying a coffee, or window shopping, approach, approach, approach. Unless you go and say, “Hey,” you will never know!
You are killing two birds with one stone here; getting fit and meeting women! I know you may think that girls do not want to be bothered at the gym, and this is somewhat true, but it is a great place to slowly build rapport with women and make connections.
The Grocery Store
It is a great place to meet women and it works so well. In addition, it has many conversation starters because there is much to observe: “You have a lot of sweet potatoes” or “I’ve never had that type of fish before, what does it taste like?” Plenty of ways to break into conversations.
Coffee shops are awesome places to meet girls, especially during the daytime. Coffee shops are low-key and quiet places that encourage lingering for hours. You’ll find girls studying, reading or just bored and killing time. Anyone who’s at a coffee shop past the morning rush is likely to be there for a long haul, which nicely eliminates any time constraints you may encounter when you’re out meeting people.
The relaxed atmosphere can play to your advantage; it’s easier to start a conversation with someone who’s just hanging out than someone who’s clearly on their way to something. Books and sketch pads provide an instant opening for conversation, and a pleasant conversation could be precisely the sort of distraction that the women there would welcome.
Once girl have left college (and gained some responsibilities) grinding at a dance club until 3 am loses some of its appeal! However, there are plenty of other social opportunities. If you live in a city, check out networking events; often these list attendees, including single women. If you live a little further out, then look into local social clubs, book clubs, yoga clubs, etc.
Explore Your Hobbies
Have you always wanted to learn a few skills in the kitchen? Try out rock climbing, or finally make the trip to see your favorite band play? Then do it! Not only will you build up your own social life (which instantly makes you more of an interesting guy to be around) but you will also end up meeting girl who have a shared interest with you: great for kick-starting conversations!
Ask Your Friends
Most people still meet people through their social circle, so it is time to work on yours. A group of good friends will get you off your couch and out meeting people. The bigger your social circle is, the more people you can meet who are a friend of a friend of a friend. So start saying ‘yes’ when people invite you out, arrange cool social gatherings and tell all your friends to play matchmaker!
Even if there wasn’t a girls for hundreds of miles around, the fact that you are reading this means you have access to the Internet. So get online, try out a few free sites, put some effort into getting a good profile together, and whip out those icebreaker.
examples:- facebook, Tinder etc….
Just like in real life, Internet dating requires you to be pro-active, but it can be a great way to meet tons of people you might otherwise never run into in real life.
Google is the best resource for finding events, groups, and activities you can participate in so that you can meet women. I actually use it for most of my one-on-one clients.
Here’s how to use it:
Enter your age or age range you are looking to meet/interact with.
Enter singles events/singles groups/singles parties, following your city.
A whole bunch of options will pop up. Then go through the options and find the best choices for you. Make sure to do one of these things each week and I guarantee you will meet women or new single friends that you can hang out with. No more being the third wheel! You now have a list of eight ways to find places to meet women! So no more excuses, it is time to get off your butt and make it happen!
2. Talking To Them
Approach the girl
After finding the girl you have to approach. This secret to getting the girl is to get off your ass and approach them. You are never going to meet a woman if you
sit at home and moan about how you can’t meet girls.
The guys who are successful did not start as natural superstars. Well some of them did, but the majority of the men who are great with women learned their skills through practice. They got off their butts and approached. They were rejected and were turned down repeatedly and over again, until they built up their confidence and smoothing their game and started seeing results.
Remember some guys have many girls because they are rejected by many.
When to approach?
The short answer to this question is “Always”. If you see a girl you want, approach her. Remember, it’s about you first, her second. It sounds like there is a lot of pressure on your approaches and you may be thinking large picture instead of small picture.
Large Picture: I am going to approach this girl, she is going to be attracted to me, I am going to get her number, we are going to date, and have sex.
Small Picture: That girl is cute, I want to talk to her and see if I like her.
Having the small picture in mind before any approaches will make it a lot easier on you. If you do not attach a large picture outcome to your actions, then you may not feel as much pressure to succeed.
Never self assume things like:-
She’s not my type
She won’t be into me
I’m too short for her
I’m too fat/bald/skinny for her
She probably has a boyfriend
She’s busy right now
She doesn’t want to be bothered
She’s with her friends and doesn’t want to be interrupted.
Many guys say these words after making their assumptions, it’s very interesting that these guys know so much about a girl they have never spoken to before! What I find more interesting is that so many guys are mind readers. These assumptions are fears disguised as intelligent justifications. These are what I like to call ‘conceived truths’ that stop us from getting what we want. Please do not fall victim.
Approach every girl that peaks your interest and decide what category you want to put her in after you have some facts to base it on.then find her type, I mean find if she really worth dating YOU.
Give her a genuine compliment.
Compliments are a double-edged sword. Use them effectively and you’ll slice through meaningless chatter to create deeper connections. Use them poorly and you’ll chop yourself down into a chump stump. Nobody wants that.
Tell her exactly why you approached her and be as specific if you can. Use the first thing you noticed about her that attracted you. Perhaps it’s her cute smile, her dimples, or if you see her a lot maybe this time her hair is tied back for the first time.
Examples of good compliments:
You’ve got very loyal friends, you must be good company.
Damn, you look fantastic in that dress, it’s like it was made for you.
Your hips move like a supermodel when you walk, I’m completely entranced. (said with a smirk, more sexual and forward).
It’s refreshing to meet someone with such strong family values. My dad is definitely my hero.” (sharing about yourself, being vulnerable)
When are you gonna show me your awesome dance moves in it?” ( in a playful manner )
Get her number
NEVER Ask For Her phone number. Tell Her to give you her phone number instead. Asking Can I? or Is it OK? means she unconsciously knows you need permission. She senses you NEED her approval.
Asking for her phone number sets you up for rejection. It gives her the upper hand, puts you in the submissive position, and gives your power away to her. Since you gave her your power, she can use it to EASILY REJECT YOU without any second thought.
You can also say let’s exchange the numbers. To girls, exchanging phone numbers feels safer, friendlier, and less risky. You’ll rarely ever get a “no”.
When you’re about to leave or you’re saying bye, very calmly and confidently say, “Before I go, let’s exchange numbers”.
tell her, “Hey I gotta run. Text me”. Say it as if there’s no doubt in your mind she’ll do it. If she’s taking too long, I’ll say, “Here. What’s your number? I’ll send you a text.”
AS SOON as you get it, walk away and send a text that says, “It’s me. Save my number.
Escalate things further
For those of you who have a hard time coming up with a good conversation starter, or who are maybe just unsure of how to keep the conversation going, here is my favourite online dating question tips to help you get to know someone before deciding to meet up.
Ask them their personal likings, hobbies, hometown etc… you can ask questions like tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you from?
I’d like to learn more about you. Where are you from? Tell me about yourself. What do you like to do? So what’s your story? I love hearing other people’s stories. Do you have a good one to tell? What do you do for a living? What’s one thing I should know about you that’s not on your profile?
What type of stuff do you like to do on the weekend? What kinds of things do you like to do for fun? What do you like to do when you go out? What type of stuff do you do in your spare time? What’s your favorite book? What’s your favorite sports team? What’s one city you want to travel to?
What’s your favorite band? What’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite song? What’s one great book you’ve recently read? Do you like working out? What’s your favorite TV show? What are your favorite things to do in your spare time? Do you have any hobbies you’re passionate about?
So, now you’ve been messaging your girl for a while and you know the feeling is mutual, so now what? The obvious next step is moving things offline and meeting in person.
How long should you wait before you go on a date?
For some people, waiting until they’ve received certain signs are a good enough indication whether they should meet in person. It’s found in the studies that having exchanged at least three to five solid online messages that include a good rapport, similar interests, and give you an overall sense of comfort.
If your research stacks up and you’re feeling confident and secure about meeting in person, then I suggests meeting sooner rather than later. “I don’t mean with a sense of urgency,”.
“What I do mean is to meet them with as little online communication as possible.” This approach might seem counter-intuitive to some, but there are advantages to meeting with someone as soon as possible.
Meeting someone in person as soon as possible will force you back to reality. From there, you’re able to decide whether you want to continue a real relationship with this person or not.
It’s easy to get caught up in in messaging and getting to know someone online, but it’s important to remember that things change when you meet in real life and the dynamics are different—and that difference can be amazing and exciting! All conversations should eventually lead to meeting up. It’s a natural progression of getting to know someone. So mind your manners and meet up for a date.
Your first date
When a guy starts talking about relationships, dating, marriage, and other things of this sort, it makes a girl feel as though he is being needy, and is smothering her. They want to move away from that scene as fast as possible. Before you can start getting into declarations of love, you need to make a girl feel comfortable. She
has to feel safe. You need to make her feel that she can be totally in her feminine and relax, without having to keep her guard up against next move. The best way to do this is with laughter.
Dos and Don’ts of the First Date
Don’t spend the time talking about you. Do let her do most of the talking.
Don’t badmouth your ex-girlfriends or wives. Don’t badmouth her ex-boyfriends or husbands, either. Do say positive things about your past relationships, or don’t say anything at all.
Don’t overly compliment a woman, except maybe to tell her she looks nice when you pick her up or meet up,or that you had a good time at the end of a date. Most guys try to give ass-kissy compliments to get women into bed to the point it comes off as being phony or a clinical diagnosis. It comes off as a bribe for sex if you
Don’t take her to extravagant places on the first date. If a guy starts spoiling a woman right away, she will come to expect that kind of treatment. Do take her someplace nice, quiet, intimate, and inexpensive, until you get to know her and know that she is really into you.
Be careful talking about sex, even if she is the one to bring it up. Change the subject after a few playful sexual innuendos. Use it sparingly and then change the
subject. Most guys just get themselves in trouble with this subject.
Don’t treat the service people badly. Many women have been involved in the service industry before in one capacity or another, and if they see you treating another individual in a demanding manner, they will often read that as a sign of the demanding individual you may become later in the relationship.
Do tip your wait staff appropriately. Some guys will short change a wait person on tips. I have heard of women who will get embarrassed and slip extra money onto the table. It shows that you are cheap, and that you do not appreciate the things that others do for you.
Is she worth dating?
Don’t date a girl who never gives you your own personal space and treat you like she is your master and you are her doggy. whenever you will come home she will ask where were you ? With whom were you ? Why are you so late ?
Asking where you are is one thing. But if you tell her you’re going to the store for milk and she insists you’re at a strip club. How do you feel?
Date a girl who is datable and makes her man life easier and meaningful, don’t date girl who is always radiating negativity out of her and making your life miserable which will make you think that love is all crap and you don’t want to fell for anyone and give commitment.
Selecting the right Girl is necessary to lead a happy and healthy life. Choose someone who is genuine, trustworthy, loyal and kind.
3. Closing The Deal
Now, this is one of the trickiest parts is taking things to the next level. Let’s be honest: You want more than just another date. You want a night of hot, animalistic sex that you’ll both remember for years to come. Or at least some very heavy petting.
You’d think this one should be a no-brainer, but it’s not. You can’t just expect her to come to you. You have to pursue her a bit. Women like knowing that you’re after them, willing to face a bit of rejection, and up to the challenge of showing some balls to make it happen.
Talk to her, break the conversation, go do something else and come back to her and resume flirting like a champ, while raising the physical and emotional stakes. The playing-hard-to-get thing works for women. On a man it makes you look a bit like, a woman.
Making a move and kiss her
This is really a good example of showing interest, asking someone out, or initiating physical contact. You can make a move by expressing your interest. You might try your luck spontaneously on the dance floor, or you might have spent years dreaming about your best friend. A little observation beforehand and a little checking in as you go will help things unfold naturally.
Kissing is passion and romance and what keeps people together”. A kiss can build or break a relationship. “Women say they can tell if a relationship is going to work after the first kiss, after the first night of kissing, they just get a feeling, an intuition.
Use the Soft Sell
The soft sell is an essential part of your closing game. She should know that you want her to “come over for a drink,” but she shouldn’t feel pressured to do so. Women are often up for more than they appear to be, but you need to create perfect mix of comfort and attraction for them to lower their defenses.
For example, if you’re say something racy and she says, “Just so you know, I don’t hook up on the first date,” come back with, “Neither do I, so no worries.” Both these statements are most likely lies, but taking the idea of sex (which may be making her uneasy) off the table leaves you looking cool and not desperate while also letting her relax a bit. It can be a tricky balance, but it’ll make the path much smoother later in the night.
Note: Another thing that smoothens the path is proper logistics. Arrange a date that’s near your place. That way, you can ask her to come over for a drink after you’ve spent a couple hours together. If she accepts, you’re money. If she declines, respect it. It doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you, it just means she’s not ready to hook up with you just yet.
Emotionally, you want to really be engaging with her, not just chatting. Allow her to talk about things that excite her and ignite her passion. When she’s on a roll, share her enthusiasm. (If you can’t, you’re with the wrong girl.) From there it’s an easy transition to making plans to do something you’re both interested in. What it comes down to is, closing takes place all the time, not just after the bar rings the last-call bell. Keep that in mind, and you’ll find things go your way a lot more often.
You go to a relationship to give. You are there to give to the other person in the relationship. It’s not about you. You are just focused on giving, because that’s who you are. You don’t care about what comes in return. If you are feeling pain, thinking: I’m doing this, I’m doing that for this person. You are focused on what you’re getting instead of what you are giving.
You go to a relationship to give. You are not there to focus on what is coming in return If you are feeling pain in your relationship, it’s a sign that you are not giving to your lover or your girlfriend, what you need to be giving. It means give her your presence. Make her laugh, show her a good time, take her out for fun, it means doing all the little things that make your partner happy.
This is the complete guide on “how to get a girlfriend” and keep her, from finding girls, to talking to them and closing the deal with utmost sincerity.
No matter how many articles YOU read and watch videos on how to get a girlfriend, you wont get anything out of it unless and until you TAKE ACTIONS.
None of those actions requires you to become an entirely different person.
All it requires is knowing who YOU are, what YOU want and going after it.
It was incredibly fun putting this “how to get a girlfriend” the ultimate guide together. I hope you get a lot of value from it and use it to get the girlfriend of your dreams. And that’s how you go ahead in life and that’s how to get a girlfriend and keep her.