It usually goes like this: there’s this girl… she’s beautiful, you get along well, always have a blast together, and you get to be friends… except that you have a huge crush on her! It’s hard to tell her how you feel because you’re afraid of ruining your friendship.
You want to her how you feel, you want to become more than friends, but you don’t want to risk losing everything. That’s a valid concern, but isn’t it better to tell how you really feel, rather than lying, pretending, and questioning yourself everyday?
From that point of view, it’s just your own fear holing you back – and letting fear control you in this one area will let it control other areas of your life, too! You’ve got a chance now, and you never know when you’ll get a chance like this again. So today, we’re going to give you the secret to getting your best friend to fall for you!
1). The difference between being a player and your situation now
The problem with men who fall in love with their best friend is their systematic tendency to set aside their own feelings, wants, and needs.
Their first priority is making the lady happy, trying to never offend her. Rather than bringing them closer, in reality it is ruining their chances.
Think about what this girl wants in a man…
– A “nice guy,” or a man of mystery?
– A man who follows her around, or a man she has to chase?
– A man who’s obsessed with her, or a man who seems to be able to get any girl he wants?
– An easy to get relationship, or a true challenge?
– A pushover, or a strong man who can keep up with her?
– A sweet guy, or a hot lover?
As you might understand, bending over backwards for your “so-called” best friend is making you seem like less of a real man.
And here I would like to emphasize the “so-called.” If you are so into her, saying she is your best friend is a lie. You’re hiding the truth and being insincere, dishonest, and out of touch with reality.
That’s because of your friendship? I don’t think so! Open your eyes – this girl is NOT your best friend, she’s the woman of your dreams. That is a BIG difference!
An Alpha man puts his needs first. He has confidence in his abilities and doesn’t let emotional weakness hold him back.
Are you ready? Good, it’s time to make a change!
2). Lose the “nice guy” act and release your inner player!
The first step to becoming more than friends is to create a barrier between you and her. This will require effort and may seem unnatural… But without this barrier, you will not be able to change the way she looks at you.
Forget the “teddy-bear” stereotype, all cuddly and sweet. You’re no longer the person she can call at 5 in the morning to talk about some hot one night stand whose name she didn’t even know.
Don’t worry about the impression you’re giving or what others might think of you. It’s time for YOU to think about yourself. You’re suffering in your current situation, and you need to change things!
Starting today, you have to become more remote, less accessible, less supportive. Stop the endless phone conversations, email exchanges, or text messages. Take back your emotional independence.
By always being there for your friend, you show her that her thoughts, moods and desires are more important than yours. In short, you’ve put her on a pedestal, and the only way she can get off is if you drop her!
3). A confident man is not desperate
As you can see, your main asset is your confidence. Do not doubt that your change of attitude will be noticed. To be effective however, you’ll have to remove any sentimental meaning.
Never let her see your feelings, or that you’re hoping for anything. The more you send her flirty pictures or tease her, the less serious you seem.
In your mind, your friend is out of your league, too good for you, unattainable… But this point of view is exactly what makes it impossible for you to get the girl. Sorry to shock you, but she’s just like any other girl. She eats, she drinks, she goes to the bathroom. Nothing extraordinary.
Stop always agreeing wholeheartedly with your best friend – by doing so, you are removing any intellectual challenge and destroying any possibility to develop that much-sought-after sexual tension.
Don’t idealize your relationship. Your goal is to make your friend understand that you’re not at her beck and call. You’re not a doormat or a puppy following her around. You’re worth much more than that.
4). Why friendships and relationships don’t mix
A romantic relationship doesn’t come out of friendship. Passion is born of mystery, discovery, and the excitement of the unknown. So being too emotionally close before the first signs of desire begin can diminish physical attraction.
What a woman looks for in a lover, she does not want from a friend, and vice versa. The two are incompatible, so you have to choose one.
Women look for physical attractiveness, intellectual stimulation, and a little bit of domination… they’re not looking for friendship.
A friend won’t turn her on, won’t kindle any desire. Some find me vulgar, but a girl rarely gets wet just at the sight of her best friend.
Your advantage is that you know this girl. So, you know exactly what she wants in a man.
So, it’s up to you to take this advice, adopt this image, and show the young lady that her perfect man was right next to her all this time!
5). The basics of seduction always work!
As with any other girl, you have to create the right conditions to attract your friend. Of these conditions, physical contact is a necessity. “But I already gave her a hug,” you might say… well, to build desire and sexual tension, there is a better way!
Some signs will clearly demonstrate your intentions. Take her hand, put your fingers on her neck, her thighs (not too high, of course), her feet… You have to make her understand that in your mind, you are ready to go further. What you need is to develop the sensuality of the moment.
Are you afraid? Why? It’s your friend, right? Physical contact influences the subconscious. The most important thing here is to demonstrate your confidence, so don’t hesitate – just go for it!
6). The moment of truth… How to seduce your best friend?
Once you’ve gotten going, nothing can hold you back. Your friend didn’t treat you like a total pervert when you touched her, did she? So go further! Invite her to have dinner with you one-on-one.
Cook, if you can – this will let you to show off your hidden talents and emphasize the fact that she doesn’t know everything about you. There is still some mystery!
Soon, the time comes to reveal your hand and officially come out of your shell. When the moment is right, sincerely confess that you find your friend extremely attractive and you’d like to be more than friends.
Don’t dwell on the fact that you took your time or that you’ve liked her for a long time. That makes you look like a manipulator who first sought to gain her trust before revealing his true intentions.
Be totally honest about your perspective. And most importantly, don’t worry about the possibility of disappointing her. Take another look at the first half of this article if you still have doubts. Don’t let your fears get to you. You are a man, she is a woman, she is attractive to you, it’s only natural
Don’t’ go too far. You already know that your best friend likes you, otherwise you would not be so close. Don’t seek her approval or let her see you sweat. You no longer have to prove anything, just to confess.
Your candidness and your honesty will make all the difference: yes, you want to go further, and there is no shame in that. What would be unforgivable, however, is to hide your desires, your feelings. That would go against your nature, prevent your personal growth, and show a lack of self-respect.
Although your ability to show your player status depends on your confidence,
in this case , your sincerity and your openness will cause her to reconsider you being “just a friend.” Yes, you have everything to lose, and your friend may feel betrayed. But not telling her would be betraying yourself.
The relationship you had before was based on a lie, a deception. Before, your actions didn’t reflect what you felt. Why go this route?
To conclude, I’ll give one more ray of hope: You’re worried about the worse case scenario – that she’ll reject your advances and you’ll destroy the friendship at the same time. The chances of that are actually pretty slim.
If your relationship is strong enough, it is more than possible that your friend will realize that she misses you, that she needs you around.
Having realized this, she’ll know that she has only one solution to get you back in the picture. So even if it seems like all is lost, you might be on the verge of a beautiful love story!