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How to Talk About your Fantasies with Your Girlfriend

September 7


How to Talk About your Fantasies with Your Girlfriend

By Ariel Vagus

September 7, 2019


Hmm… touchy subject for many of you, I’m sure!

Fantasies are an important part of our sexual stimulation and they are worth exploring to avoid falling into a sexual routine. They allow you to spice up your sex and help you keep it fresh. A couple is made up of two people, and honesty is an important part of a relationship. That honesty also includes sharing fantasies, “for better or for worse!”

I’ll give you some tips on how to broach the subject.

1st tip: Have the right state of mind

It doesn’t matter which of the following tactics is your favorite, you have to have the right attitude to be able to share your fantasies without doing too much “damage” to your relationship.

Keep an open mind – don’t push it or put too much pressure on your girlfriend.  It never feels good to feel “forced” into something, no matter what it is.

While being respectful of her possible objections, make it clear how much you’d like her to be part of your desires.  Make it clear that this is important to you.

By being open and honest, you subtly invite her to do the same.  If you take the plunge first, she’s more likely to do the same.

To convince someone of something, you must be deeply convinced yourself. Capich?

2nd tip: Direct communication

Nothing beats a good “open and frank” discussion between two mature, responsible adults.  This is the approach I favor in almost all situations. The discussion allows for an exchange of ideas even if the two people do not ultimately agree on the outcome. It’s just about respect.

This is an important step to take as a couple because sulking in a corner or seeing who can yell the loudest is rarely the way to grow as a couple, and neither is a good communication strategy.


– Suggest that you would love to try something. Be clear that it’s a fantasy of yours and that you would REALLY like to experience it with her because she’s the one that you picture in it.  In short, you’ve got to sell the fantasy (How about some dirty storytelling?)


-Plant a seed and wait for the idea to take root in her brain.  If your girl doesn’t bring it up again, return to the topic at a time when she seems open to “negotiations.”  That could sound like “remember what I talked about the other day?  Have you thought about it all? Maybe want to give it a try?”

All sorts of ideas will go through her head, and you’ll need to use strategy to combat the avalanche of:

-You must not love me if you’re suggesting that

– This whole business is disgusting

– No way are we doing that

– I am not a whore

And so on… because this reaction will depend on the “type” of fantasy that you have suggested. Some girls are more adventurous than others, and some are shy and likely to react “negatively” to your fantasies. You know, girls are more emotional than rational, so try toreason with her.

Obviously, if your fantasy includes “guests,” you’ve got some searching to do! It’s a hot fantasy and not just in bed! I can’t wait to be single again so I can make those fantasies happen!

3rd tip: Go gradually

Start by testing the waters with a simple fantasy.  If all goes well, gradually suggest more.Even if the experience was not a success, her willingness to try something new shows openness on her part.


– Play “strip poker” or a similar game where missing a shot or losing a hand means taking off an item of clothing.

– Give her one of your old shirts and tell her that you’d like to rip it off her “wildly.”


– Before trying to blindfold her, ask her to close her eyes and keep them closed no matter what you do.

– Want to tie her up? The first time just tell her to put her hands behind her back or over her head,and to keep them held together and not to use them.  She might like the feeling, and even eventually ask to be tied up herself.

Even if, for you, tying her up seems harmless, let me enlighten you, gentlemen.

Women are already vulnerable in bed, even more so if her hands are tied up.  For that reason, trust is essential for this type of fantasy!

She’ll gradually get used to trusting you because every new experience is a chance for you to prove yourself worthy.  With everything you try, be open-minded and respectful, even if the experience doesn’t go the way you planned.  Show that you are a kind and gentle man, and she’ll see that you’re not interested in humiliating or hurting her. Get what I’m saying?

Bring up the idea that it might be fun to experiment, that exploring would bring some variety to your sex life, or that it is an opportunity to push your limits and explore your feelings.  Girls love to talk about their feelings, so this is a good opportunity to explore them deeper.

Speaking openly afterwards allows for a meaningful exchange, especially if it was mutually enjoyable.  Even if it was a disaster, it’s no big deal because you can still talk about it and think about how you could improve on your “experiment” so it’s successful next time.

By doing so, you show your willingness to share ideas and work together. In short, you become closer when you have meaningful experiences together.

4th tip: Push the line

If you’re thinking about it, keep bringing it up. How could you do that?

– Mention that a friend tried something with his girlfriend and recommended it

– Say you saw a scene in a movie that you thought looked nice (oh, no, not a XXX movie, of course not…)

– Pretend you overheard a conversation between “girls” and one of them was talking about (insert fantasy here) and that she loved the experience “despite everything”

– Say you read about it online or in a magazine

– Ask her what her fantasies are and see if you could help make one come true

– Tell hera dream that you had once

– Suggest your fantasy in the heat of the moment

– Find literature talking about fantasies AND / OR videos, and share your finds with her

Literature and credible publications help people see that the fantasies they describe can be  “worthwhile.”  This is a good way to counter her objections and encourage her to reconsider.  Show her that this is something that “normal” people do.

In addition, your approach will show your commitment to the relationship.  It will imply that you see the potential for a long-term relationship, and that you are committed to making both of you happy.

Putting the effort in now will be worth it!  Its not a waste of time, it’s an investment.  You’ll meet more women in the future, and you’ll already have practice in “selling” your ideas.”

Appeal to her sense of practicality, to her sense of cooperation, but allow her time and space to think about it, if necessary.

The Alpha Man gets what he wants from women because he is determined! It is a powerful determination that emanates from him, but it’s not aggressive.  He is patient because he KNOWS he will get what he wants sooner or later.  This means that by not rushing your girl, you’ll eventually get what you want.



Ariel Vagus

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