How Stress Is Affecting Your Love Life/Relationship, And What To Do About It?

Stress is the leading cause of bad relationships. It has become the modern curse. These days everyone is suffering from stress. It’s actually become normalised to feel some kind of background stress most of the time. Without even realizing that what stress can do to your body including physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. In this article we will learn about stress and how stress is affecting your love life , relationship and what to do about it. 

What Is Stress And What It Does To Your body? 

We all know what mental stress is, and how could we not? since it has become a part of our lives. According to English Oxford Dictionary, Stress a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. 

Stress ain’t always bad but beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life. 

Stress ain’t always bad because stress can help you rise to meet challenges. It’s what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching TV. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert.  

In emergency situations, stress can save your life giving you extra strength to defend yourself, by producing adrenaline hormone into your body which makes people super human and they do stuffs like which wouldn’t be possible for normal human being, like running too fast when a rabid dog chase you. Or jumping form your window 20 feet high when your home catches fire by accident and burning down to ashes and there is no way to escape apart from the window. 

How Stress Is Affecting Your Body? 

It can suppress your immune system, upset your digestive and reproductive systems, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and speed up the aging process. It can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems. 

-Depression and anxiety 

-Pain of any kind 

-Sleep problems 

-Autoimmune diseases 

-Digestive problems 

-Skin conditions, such as eczema 

-Heart disease 

-Weight problems 

-Reproductive issues 

-Thinking and memory problems 

The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feel familiar — even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll. That’s why it’s important to be aware of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress overload. 

-Irritability 

-Hostility 

-Frustration 

-Anger 

-Aggressive feelings and behavior 

-Decreased interest in appearance 

-Decreased concern with punctuality 

-Obsessive/compulsive behavior (trying to cope with unwanted repeated thoughts or obsessions, by engaging in compulsive behavior rituals such as counting, checking, washing, etc.) 

-Reduced work efficiency or productivity 

-Lying or making excuses to cover up poor work 

-Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness 

-Problems in communication 

-Social withdrawal and isolation 

-Impulsivity (expressed as impulse buying, gambling, sexual behavior, or similar) 

How Stress Is Affecting Your Love Life And Relationships ? 

Stress is pretty much unavoidable in a relationship – any relationship. Intimate relationships, such as marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend, can be particularly taxing. 

You Lose emotional availability. 

Under stress, behaviors that would normally be slightly irritating feel like major disruptions. The more protective part of your brain is in fight-flight mode, ready to react or disconnect at a moment’s notice. You’re tired, wired, and any emotional request from your partner is overwhelming. And trying not to stress is making you feel more stressed. 

An innocent question like, “How are you, sweetheart?” brings out irritated reactions, such as, “How do you think I feel? I’m overloaded. Isn’t that obvious?” Anger is easy, and patience is in short supply. You’re aware that reacting poorly, so you promise yourself you’ll be better as soon as “things let up.” 

You lose your ability to communicate rationally.  

If you’re feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed, your ability to discuss things rationally goes out the window. For instance, a simple discussion about whose turn it is to do the laundry might turn into a complete blowout with screaming, water works, and hurt feelings. This happens because stress actually affects your ability to focus, and promotes negative thinking. Studies show that it even affects your judgment and listening skills. 

You are drinking more frequently. 

Excessive alcohol consumption during a relationship usually stems from one of two things: alcoholic tendencies, or as a means of stress relief. Either way, this sudden abuse of alcohol can quickly destroy a relationship; as it is much more likely that underlying stress will exacerbate – for both people involved. 

The person doing the drinking must be open to feedback, which can be difficult if many relationship stressors are present. It may be necessary see a professional in this case for advice. 

Your intuition loses insight. 

Intuition is one of our most crucial capabilities to loving and being loved. The special glances, warm affectionate sounds, and open arms easily fall prey when preoccupation with prolonged worry about something else trumps the importance of what is going on presently. We can only pick up subtle facial expressions, voice intonations, and body language when we’re tuned in. 

Prolonged stress depletes a relationship of its most important components—present-time deep attentiveness and the ability to live in one another’s hearts. Stressed-out people cannot maintain those gifts. They forget how to love or allow love to penetrate their preoccupied and pressured world. That disconnect from their own inner experiences transfers into becoming separate from the one they love. 

You feel your entire relationship is a bust.  

When stress is a regular companion in our lives, we’re more likely to view even the most positive things in a negative light. This goes for a great relationship, as well. Unfortunately, we fail to realize that stress is what’s making us feel our relationships aren’t what they should be. 

Your phone becomes your best friend 

When we’re under pressure at work, we spend more time on our phones or in front of our computers. Studies suggest that “technoference” in relationships leads to conflict, depression, and less relationship satisfaction. So, being on your phone when you’re supposed to be watching a movie with your partner could be a sign—as well as a cause—of stress. 

You lose your senses. 

When we are stressed, we lose access to our sense that is our weakest link. If it is touch, we are no longer be able to differentiate whether a physical connection will be demanding or healing. We encase ourselves in an invisible bubble, shutting the world out in order to cope. If our partner relies on touch to feel loved, we inadvertently send the message that we no longer care. 

Some of us lose access to enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of life. A partner who hasn’t showered smells sexy when you’re balanced, but offensive when we’re stressed. A restaurant is not enjoyed because food just ends hunger, it doesn’t awaken the taste buds. Our vision and hearing narrow and we can only focus on solving the immediate problem ahead. We can’t listen to stories or details or day’s events, nor see beyond what’s stressing us out. 

For example, when we come home stressed and sleepless, and our partner has prepared our favorite dinner, we can’t see it. We stare directly ahead and focus on something mundane: “Where’s that folder I left on the counter? It was right here. Did you throw it out for God’s sake?” Our partner will either try to anticipate our every move to avoid being stung or will write us off as impossible to satisfy. 

You lose your ability to communicate rationally.  

If you’re feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed, your ability to discuss things rationally goes out the window. For instance, a simple discussion about whose turn it is to do the laundry might turn into a complete blowout with screaming, water works, and hurt feelings. This happens because stress actually affects your ability to focus, and promotes negative thinking. Studies show that it even affects your judgment and listening skills. 

Your thoughts become scrambled. 

When our frontal lobes have been uncharacteristically scrambling to sort ideas and resolve problems, we are unable to share our thoughts with our partners. Our partners, who are used to solving problems together, offer suggestions, hints, and support. 

But, because our thinking is off-kilter, we can’t trust outside interference, as it further confuses us. We invalidate the offers and make our partners feel stupid or inappropriate, saying, “Can’t you see I’m trying to figure something out? If I need help, I’ll ask you.” Your partner is justifiably hurt, rejected, or offended. 

You get super irritable.  

If most of what your partner says or does ticks you off, or you feel their words or actions are a slight at your expense, stress could be a contributing factor. The longer stress plays a starring role in your life, the more grumpy and/or argumentative you’ll tend to be—and the more likely you’ll be to lash out at others because of your increased anxiety. 

But don’t worry, just because your anxiety is at an all-time high, doesn’t mean your love life is doomed. Using a few strategies, you can learn to spot the signs that stress is negatively impacting your relationship and take steps to prevent its harm. Take a deep breath, relax, and read on. 

>> How To Keep Stress Away From Ruining Your Love Life And Relationship? 

Stress is everywhere; it’s unavoidable. But you can make it not to harm you and make your bonding with your mate even better and stronger. Here are some tips to keep your stress way out of the league of your relationship and love life with your mate. 

Have a Mantra:  

Choose two simple sayings that will ground you when you feel like your head’s about to spin off. The first you’ll say to yourself when you feel like you’re neglecting your relationship in the form of giving fewer compliments or being overly critical. It can be something like, “I care about Nick so much, and my job already affects my life in such a negative way. I won’t let it influence our relationship too.” Then pick another you can actually say out loud to your partner like, “I’m sorry I’m getting like this. It’s unfair, and I shouldn’t take my stress out on you.” 

Meditation and Exercise:  

What better way to release aggression than an intense kickboxing class or Boxing on Punching bag? Or Meditation to for peaceful mind? Or to calm you down than some quality Pilates? A good sweat session is an easy way to boost your mood. Bonus: It’ll release endorphins that will have you craving a different kind of workout. Together. In bed. 

Take a Break:  

If you feel the devil on your shoulder getting ready to rumble, just walk away. Taking a pause to let yourself simmer down is key. You’ll realize that, no, your girlfriend isn’t being a colossal jerk—you’re actually still pissed about how your boss spoke down to you in front of your colleagues. Once you’re able to find the root of your bad mood, you won’t feel as inclined to take it out on your girl. 

Perform Small Gestures:  

When you get into that strained head space and know you may get testy with your girl, do something small and kind for her instead. Maybe grab her favorite ice cream on your way home from work, or randomly tell her something he’s done lately that has impressed you. Her gratitude is like positive reinforcement: When you’re sweet to her, you get sweetness back. You’ll realize how much worse of a time you’d have if you’d gone with your first instinct to be unpleasant. 

>>CONCLUSION 

You can keep your stress under control by following the tips given above. Plan your work for the day, communicate freely with all, and encourage those around you to talk. Make sure you spend quality time at home. 

Finally, accept that stress is a part of life and you have to deal with it positively. If you perceive stress as a motivator and challenging it will be beneficial rather than harmful. 

And let me know how you deal with stress to keep your love life pleasurable and meaningful?