We often think that attracting women is all about looks, money or a good physique. If a girl thinks that some guy has these qualities, she would go crazy for him and start undressing automatically. But this is not the case majority of the times.
We can often see guys with no looks, no money nor a good physique hang around with sexy chicks. They would sometimes even misbehave with girls and treat them badly, yet they would end up with those girls.
Confused by all these dilemma, of what works and what doesn’t when it comes to attracting a woman. I went out in the field and experimented almost all the ideas which i thought attracts a woman. Then, not satisfied with that much, I also read a lot of books on Attraction, dating, pickups, etc… and compiled a list of 69 tips which i think are the most effective in attracting any woman towards you and possibly spark up something magical with her.
So, let’s look at those battle tested tips and hopefully you’ll apply some of those to get success in real life as well.
1. Having Money
Yup, you heard it right. But don’t think it’s the only attraction factor. Money does work but to some extent. Not entirely and not ultimately. Why would a girl date a guy who cannot even afford to pay the bills of his own expenses. Girls are biologically programmed to look for security in a guy. Be it in finances or relationship.
Girls are attracted to independent guys. So put in the work and be independent first. As I mentioned above being independent is the most attractive trait a guy could ever posses, which girls can’t resist.
2. Have Standards
You need to have standards when it comes to women. You can’t just go on picking any women. That way you will get none. Or even if you do, you’ll be highly unsatisfied with her, as she won’t be your kinda woman.
Plus, once you got standards, you instantly increase your STATUS.
And trust me women love men who are High Status.
3 .Learn Everyday
The more you learn, the better you become everyday. A man who is going somewhere, without stopping or waiting for someone to give him a permission is very attractive. It’s all about growth. Life is growth. We all were born same, as a baby. Nobody grew into a complete hero, or a rockstar instantly. No.
We all work hard to get there. So, it’s all about growth and learning. Learn everyday. That is one of the most attractive qualities ever.
4. Have a Purpose
Having a purpose is very important because it gives you a direction. And as written above, women love men who are going somewhere. Especially in the right direction.
Another great thing about having a purpose is it chisels out a lot of your unattractive behaviors automatically.
5. Win – Win Attitude
You need to have a win-win attitude. You need to make it a win for her as well. It should be like both of you are going to win, when you two are together. You can’t be selfish and hope to be getting women. They also need to feel like they will benefit from being with you.
Ex- The sex will be pleasurable for BOTH., the experiences should be mind-blowing for both, etc..
6. Being indifferent
Always be indifferent, to an outcome. Shit happens, some girls just don’t want you, it’s fine. There are a lot of options out there.
Look at the weird stuff or the bad stuff that happens to you as an adventure. It’s so much fun. Others are living a cold miserable life, while you’re living a happy fulfilled life. Ain’t that exciting?
7. Having Supreme Confidence
It’s having the belief in oneself, that you can pull off any situation, perfectly no matter what. You believe in yourself and you’re insanely awesome. It’s having this kind of belief and matching it with your deeds, that is insanely attractive. You can get a lot of women by just having this one simple trick inside your pocket.
[ and if you want to master your inner self – confidence and never run out of it again, then also check out my article on self-confidence. I’m sure it will be worth your read. ]
8. Be Excited
You need to be excited. This makes you fun and lively. When people look at you even from the far, they think … Mann… he’s so fun. I wanna be with him.
If you’re excited about life, your girl will be excited about you.
9. Know your Value
Always know your value. And your value is always higher than or equal to any girl you are going to attract, as girls are only attracted to guys who are higher status or equal than them.
10. Be Mindful
Be Present. Living every moment as it is. No worries of the past or the future. Men who are like this, tend to have that Wow – factor in them as they never run out of energy or things to say.
11. Amuse yourself not others
Do everything to amuse yourself. Not others. Once you do that, others will start following and start having fun around you. IT’s that simple.
There’s an NLP concept that says – Any type of emotion that you want a girl to feel, you need to feel that first. It’s you that dictates stuff.
So, if you want to amuse her, first amuse yourself.
[ Don’t know what NLP is? Want to know it in-depth? Don’t worry your dude got you covered. I have written an article on it, covering all the basics of NLP and how you can use it to get women? You can read it here. ]
12. Have certainty
Women love certainty and they want certainty from a man. She needs to feel certainty from a man every time. Like this man knows what he’s doing. He’s not unsure.
Be firmly rooted in what you’re doing. Don’t be a dead fish who’s just going with the flow. A woman wants to just let go and feel secure when she’s in the presence of her man. Be that guy.
13. Lazer eyes that never deviate from his Target
Know what you want, and go for it without even thinking twice. If you want it then you’re gonna get it no matter what. Don’t hesitate. Be like an arrow. Once you have shot it, it never comes back. So, once you have decided that you want someone or something, go for it.
Women love men who are sure about what they want and don’t hesitate or stop themselves from getting it.
14. Be an Action Taker
Be prepared to take actions when others are not. Action is the most superior thing on this planet.
Step up. That’s one of the most attractive masculine traits. And you must do it. It makes you a leader.
15. Be Physical
Explain that masculine dominance right from the start. Use your hands from the beginning only. Be fully assertive. Never be passive.
The longer you wait, to get physical, the weirder it gets.
So, you get physical right from the start. Touch her hands, or play games with her where you could get opportunity to touch her and fondle her. And if things look good go for a kiss as well.
16. Be Persistent
Don’t just walk away, if a girl tells you to walk away. Don’t give up. Most of the times this is a shit test from a girl. She just wants to test you. And check your mettle and nerves. But obviously don’t creep her out. Maintain a healthy balance.
17. Always be Congruent
Let her see the real you. There’s nothing to hide. There needs to be a direct co – relation between your words and deeds. How you do something is more important than what you do. So, make sure that you are in balance with your words and deeds.
18. Don’t be a Yes Mam
If she does something that doesn’t relate to you or your values, tell her up front. Never say me too if it’s doesn’t matches with who you are. No need to act in front of her. That’s very unattractive.
A man’s attractiveness is directly proportional to how non – needy he is. The less needy he is, the more attractive he will be to women.
Neediness comes when a man places a higher priority on others’ perceptions of him than his perception of himself.Never ever let anybody define who you are. Their perception of you isn’t your reality. Your perception is.
20. Investing in yourself
A good way to kill neediness is to always be investing in yourself. Keep banking and keep betting on yourself. You are your greatest asset. Go out, travel, meet new people, etc… Just keep investing.
21. Having Strong boundaries.
Any man who doesn’t have strong boundaries is a wimp. Period. Why? Because then the women will just walk over him after using him ( obviously ) and he won’t be able to do anything. On the other hand a man who has boundaries is extremely attractive because woman can never have their way with him, which in turn makes them want to be with him, as he’s equal or higher status than them.
When you’re willing to cut a woman off and tell her when you feel that she’s out of line, when you’re willing to tell a woman what you will and will not tolerate in your life, this sub-communicates the most powerful elements of attraction to her.
22. Self – Respect
How could anyone like or respect a man who doesn’t respects himself? And as the no. 1 rule of dating goes – Women think about you what you think about yourself.
So, a man who has good amount of self – respect is the only man women can ever be attracted to.
By having self – respect i meant – Do you got the guts in your b*tts to leave on a dime if she offends you or breaks your trust?
23. Not being Narcissistic and self – serving
You need to look for an intersection where you can create a win – win, for both of you. That’s the perfect line. That’s what women want. But most of the time, men are needy, and when they’re not they become self – serving or narcissistic.
They usually do this by conjuring up all sorts of false beliefs about the inferiority or difference of women and they treat women as if they’re just objects or trophies to be won.
This is so wrong. An attractive man , knows the fine line.
24. Being Vulnerable
I know, i sound like the most obsolete advisor ever. I mean how could men be vulnerable? Vulnerability is for the weak. Men are strong. They’re not supposed to cry. I ask Why?
Are you not a human? Before man or a woman, you’re a human. And as a human, you got feelings and emotions. And it is paramount that you express them in your boldest form possible.
That is, if you are hurt and you want to express it, you cry. That’s how you express hurt. When you win something and get joy, you go crazy with happiness. Always express whatever you feel in its boldest form. Don’t be a victim of toxic masculinity.
[ And if you truly want to know the real meaning of masculinity, then checkout my article on it here. ]
Vulnerability is so attractive because it makes a man real. It gives substance and existence to that man. That way women feel like they could connect to him more. As he is an honest man, and he has nothing to hide. So, he is absolutely non – needy.
Stop trying to be perfect. It’s your imperfection that connect others to you.
25. Handling Rejection like a King
Oh yeah! I just wrote that. I think the total idea of rejection was made just to make a man more attractive. [ have I gone crazy… nope.. ] Why? This shows that you’re vulnerable but at the same time nothing fears you. After all fear of rejection is the biggest fear.
It sub communicates that ” You’re totally OK with the idea of rejection. Otherwise you would not be approaching her in this manner. Therefore, you’re comfortable with yourself, and you love taking actions and betting on yourself.”
[ change your views about rejection if you didn’t thought like this….] And you don’t care about what she thinks. You cared about your feelings and so you approached her. Simple.
It exudes a non needy vibe and shows that you’re a man who doesn’t need any validation. You’re out there just expressing your feelings. And as i wrote earlier, that should always be your No.1 priority as a human being.
By the way, I have written an entire article on How to handle rejection like a king. If you are still scared about it, then check it out.
26. Not being a Copy – Cat
Self development is fine, i highly recommend it, but not at the cost of changing your inner being. Then it no longer remains, self – development, it becomes self – destruction.
A man who knows himself, and is unique in every way he could be and he brings his own unique substance upon this world is insanely attractive to women.
27. The one who acts on his sexual desires
You’re a man, and you’re bound to have sexual feelings for girls. Now, imagine if a girl who you have sexual feelings for, friend zones you. How would you feel?
Let me tell you what I and this world feels about that kind of man.
A man who does not act on his sexual desires is a man who is needy, lacks vulnerability and is therefore unattractive.
Why? Because, you clearly want her more than she wants you. It’s fine on her part. But you must be man enough to first of all let her know about your feelings and if she still doesn’t accepts it, then you MUST move on, and find another girl, who will be receptive to you and want to be with you.
[If you want to get that girl to finally accept you as her boyfriend and not just a friend, then you can read my How to escape the friend zone article as well. I am not promising anything, results can vary.]
28. Not Wasting Time [ especially on a woman, who isn’t worth it ]
I have seen so many guys waiting for a girl, hoping that someday she will see that her Mr. Right is right beside her. [ Oh baby! why can’t you see, you belong with me…LOL… ]
Oh! God. This is disaster. Of self – esteem, self-development and life itself.
Waiting around for a woman who clearly doesn’t see you in that way is simply not worth it. Period.
Move on, fast. Now that’s attractive. Because it shows Abundance mindset. It shows that she’s not the only woman in your life and chances are she’s going to be fuming with anger and she’ll try to get you back.
29. Abundance Mindset
There are 3.6 billion women on this planet 😉 I’m not saying you try to get everyone. But never become needy with anyone. Trust me there’s always more, than you have yet to see. So, go and explore.
It will kill your neediness forever.
30. Be Polarizing
The more straight forward you are about who you are, how you feel, and what you think, the more attractive you’ll become. This will also bring you exactly the kind of women you want. So, stay away from the herd and be you.
Be as real and as natural as you can. It demonstrates non-neediness.
31. Having good agenda instead of bad.
Its not possible to not have an agenda. Have an agenda, but positive agenda. Like in place of wanting to fuck her and hurt her, want to genuinely, get to know her and talk to her and spend some time with her. Change your intent. Make it positive.
There’s always an agenda. If there would be no motivation, there would be no action. [ make an infograph of it. ]
32. Being trustworthy.
If they can’t trust you, obviously they can’t be with you. For women their reputation to them is a life and death thing. And they can’t be with a man who doesn’t treat them well. And someone who will not go behind their back.
They want safety and security first and foremost and then they want to mate with a man who won’t leave them, and stick to them. Unless of course, you’re friends with benefits.
This is obviously an attraction factor. But not the only factor or most important. Non out here is most important. All the tips have an importance of their own.
Having a good physique demonstrates that you’re a high value guy who cares about himself, takes care of himself and who will also take care of her when she will need it.
34. Adventure Sports
Women love dangerous men. It sub communicates that if a man can handle himself in dangerous times and survive those times then he can easily survive anything in real life and will be an ideal mating partner for her.
No wonder so many adventure sports guys have some of the hottest girls with them. By the way, try it on your own risk.
35. Eye Contact
Eye contact demonstrates Higher status and a trust factor. If you maintain a good, healthy eye contact with a woman, then it builds a connection with her and makes her feel attracted to you.
[ this was my no.1 attraction technique to getting girls in high school ]
Again, height is obviously a factor, but not the only factor. It definitely boosts your personality and gives you an edge to get a girl. It basically sub communicates to her that a tall guy could protect her better than a short guy. That’s it.
37. Mastering the sub-communication – The Real Honest Signal
Sub-communication matters more than communication.
[ damn those idiots, who spend time on improving their communication skills to get girls, without fixing their internal shit. ]
Because it’s unintentional, it’s negative, it’s honest, it’s the real you. YOU can’t fake it. And it’s very, very, very, difficult to change. [ hope you got an idea of how difficult it is 😉
This is why girls focus so much on this. And this comes from maturity and you manning up as a person.
[ btw… i wrote an entire book on this – ” The Transformation Manual ” which focus exactly on how you can man up, improve your sub-communications and become mature. You can check it out if you’re serious about this. ]
38. Being a bit unpredictable to keep her guessing which keeps her attracted.
Guys who are too predictable, are always unattractive because the girl knows there’s not much substance to him and she could always have him.
So, instead of having him as their priority , she had rather make a predictable guy her back up or somebody she could fall back upon, if things go awry.
If you’re too predictable, she’ll always associate you as a low value guy.
39. Social Proof
It means being vouched for by other people. It could be by other women or people of higher value. It’s one of the easiest way to get a woman attracted but you would have to do some hard work in getting vouched from a valuable source.
40. Social Pressure
The ability to handle pressure when everybody is looking at you or counting on you and thriving in those moments is social pressure.
Drawing social pressure towards you and being willing to succeed in that kind of pressure conveys that you have a lot of confidence and you are born to thrive. When you’re not cracking under pressure and showing that you can handle it, it’s an amazing attraction trigger.
When you’re competent, it shows you have a healthy and a high IQ. It shows that you’re smart and can handle any situation. It shows that you have a ton of potential which you can use to live a massive luxurious life.
42. Frame Control
The ability to make people see things your way is of massive value and its insanely attractive. It instantly makes you the leader and alpha out there. When you got the power of frame control, then you can frame any relationship, without any agenda or seeming needy, greedy or creepy.
Frame is your interpretation of facts. How you interprete facts to give them meaning. The way you change your perception of the events, is how you change the meaning of the events. That’s what you call Frame Control.
Frame control is being able to have your own perspective and hold it in face of confrontation and also to adjust other people’s perspective to see things your way.
43. How to touch
Knowing how to touch her on the right places and igniting her inner demons is insanely attractive for a woman. A lot of guys just don’t know how to spark her desires and when they touch most of them make her feel creeped out. So, you must know how to touch her and when to touch.
A lot of that comes down to your sub communications.
44. If you know how to ask her to come home with you, in a way that will make her not feel slutty
Every woman wants to be respected in the society and have a good positive image. Even if you got her attracted initially, and now
you want to bring her home, you must do it in a way, that is socially apt and doesn’t make her feel like a loose slut. Men who know how to handle these situations are found to be very attractive in a woman’s eyes.
Every girl has an image of the guy they wanna date or marry with. They all have this perfect image of their prince charming. So, simply said. If you fit that image, the job is done.
She is instantly going to be attracted to you. This is not all important, but if you somehow happen to fit her picture then it’s definitely going to make it easier for you to get her.
46. Grooming is very Attractive.
You can’t expect to look like a hobo and get a girl. You need to have a proper haircut, use some gels, good maintained beard and obviously some colognes or perfumes. whichever you prefer. Classy men always have a better chance with women.
Being healthy matters. Why would a girl be attracted to a man who’s not even healthy and can’t enjoy his life with her? It indicates bad genetics and a girl is never going to be attracted to a man with bad genetics because attraction is primal. And genetics is what evokes our primal instincts.
Bad health is very infectious in a bad way in any relationship.
48. Having High Energy
If you’re constantly low energy then she’s going to find you as boring and dull. High energy indicates that a man is powerful and is also going to give her a good time in bed. You need to show her the energetic you.
Having some kind of power or influence where you could have your way whenever you want to is extremely attractive. Power is always attractive. Be it when you’re a leader, a CEO of some company , etc… All form of power or authority is attractive.
Disqualifiers are so attractive because it instantly makes you a man who is not needy of her. As you are willing to say negative things to her and are willing to lose her.
A disqualifier is you specifically pointing out reasons why it wouldn’t work out between you and a girl. The willingness to push a girl away is extremely attractive.
Ex – She says – All LA guys are jerks.
You – Don’t complain to me sister. I’m the worst one.
Here you are not sub communicating that you are any less and she’s some queen. Rather here you’re sub-communicating that you’re the high quality guy who’s out of her league.
Getting a girl to tell you why you should hang out with her. Getting her to qualify herself to you indicates that you’re a high value guy, you’re selective, etc…
52. Always be the prize. Don’t ever put a woman on a pedestal.
Always know that you’re a high quality guy and she needs to be the one persuing you. Never ever bow down to a woman. Even if she may be the princess of somewhere, but you’re no less than a high quality guy yourself.
53. Passing a woman’s shit test
It is also very attractive as it shows you can handle pressure. Women are always going to test you. It’s their way of filtering out the best from the worst. And if you’ve passed her test, she’s going to be very open for you and receptive of you.
A person who takes responsibility for his or her life, rather than looking for causes in outside circumstances or other people.
A man that will make things happen. A proactive man has drive, passion and direction. Women want a man that is in control of his destiny and will not crumble in hard times.
Being proactive, means taking part in your existence.
The majority of the world does not understand the power of being proactive so they choose to settle.
It means that you need to be able to hold a person’s interest.
This may be through intelligent conversation, stories, playfulness or areas of common interest.
This is why i wrote in earlier tip, to be a man of standard, don’t just pick any woman. Or else you won’t be able to have fun with her.
56. DON’T QUIT
Not quitting with begging, arguing, or being pushy, needy, or creepy. All it means is not giving up easily. Sometimes a woman wants to see if the man is able to handle tough life situations and is man enough to keep going. Does he have a never quit mentality?
This is another way to check your self-confidence. Keep continuing, don’t give up.
[ This happened in my real life as well. I took it like a champ, and in return dated two girls at the same time ]
57. Never get manipulated
Men who are easily manipulated by women are always unattractive to them. It’s all a trap set by them to filter out to real men from the wussies.
They will quickly get bored by men like these, as there’s nothing left for her to explore about him.
58. Being supporter and protector of those you love.
This shows a woman that she can always be safe and secure if she gets into a relationship with you. And you will also help her with her dreams, which is highly important for women nowadays.
59. Being unaffected
Don’t react to everything. It’s just not worth it.
60. Connecting conversationally
A man who could arouse emotions in a woman and someone who could connect with her verbally, and somebody who she could share all her feelings and emotions with is always very attractive for her.
Smiling sub communicates a feel good factor and it usually shows that you’re a man who has had a lot of women in your life. So, its a good way to be pre-selected by a woman as well.
62. They’re always attracted to the Alpha Male.
An alpha can be anybody who is not afraid of failures and goes after what he seeks or desires. This kind of man is always attractive and appealing to a woman. He doesn’t concern himself with what others think about him.
No one’s judgements or mockery can stop him from getting what he wants. This man represents himself in a way that makes him feel the most comfortable.
[ I have written a lot of article on becoming an alpha male. You can check them all out in the Alpha Dude series. As you start reading them, slowly you will grasp a full idea of what an Alpha male is. And as you start taking the steps inside these articles, you will also become an Alpha in no time. ]
63. Being Willing to walk away.
The willingness to walk away, above all others does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of physique or money can. You must be ready to leave without hesitation. This kind of man makes a woman go crazy after him.
64. The Positive Vibe
The positive vibe is the vibe in which you appreciate and value life. This kind of vibe sub communicates that you’re comfortable in your skin, you’re secure and fulfilled and that you have an abundance mindset.
This kind of vibe also makes you indifferent to the different dramas and games of women.
65. Emotional Control
Women don’t like cry babies. Nor do they want to be their mamas. A man who has intellect and thinks with logic is always able to make rapid adjustments, which make women fall for them instantly.
It lets them know that this man can handle any situation and handle the woman herself. Because ultimately, her priority is her safety and security.
66. Have control
Be it in your life, your bank account or with your feelings and emotions. Don’t let any of these dictate you or guide you. And especially never let a woman guide you. Plus, women really don’t like men who are yes mams.
You have to be in control of every interaction. It’s your way or the highway.
67. Be decisive
They don’t want an indecisive pussy. So, have the balls to say and do whatever the f*ck you want to say and do.
68. You make the rules.
Yup, you play by her rules, and you lose. She’s never going to be attracted this way. She wants a high quality man who she can chase, not the other way around. Do everything on your terms, otherwise say goodbye to your happy life.
69. Making your intentions clear
Let her know right from the beginning that you want to f*ck her. Women do not want a shy guy. They don’t. They want a guy who is honest, and goes after what he wants with all his might.
For ex – A good way i use to let her know about my intention is –
I’ll look at her and smile… Then she would ask why are you smiling?
Me – I’m just finishing fucking you — can you hold on a minute please?