September 18


6 Tips to Be More Dominant in Bed — The Basics

By Ariel Vagus

September 18, 2020

Alpha Male, dominance, dominant male, How to be more dominant


Chances are your girlfriend or the girls you meet want to be dominated in bed.

According to a survey of 3,211 women, a massive majority — 80% — say they want a mature man who dominates in the bedroom.

They don’t want some chump who can’t take control.

They want to be controlled.

And being dominant in bed takes more than just being the top.

It means you’re dictating the pace, what position you’re in, and making all the decisions. 

Plus, doing all of the above with authority and conviction.

Here are 6 ways that you can take the lead in the bedroom.

In this article we’ll discuss some easy ways to accomplish that. We won’t be crossing the line into any BDSM or kink behavior, we’ll save that for another day. 

Consider this a beginners course for guys who are just looking to start asserting themselves more strongly in bed.

If you want to be more alpha in bed… Check this out right now!

1. Spanking

Let’s start with spanking. This is a super easy and common way to assert a little dominance in the sack.


I don’t recommend spanking right after you start hooking up with a girl.

You want her to be nice and warmed up before you spank her. 

This is something you do a few minutes into penetrative sex — once you’re both already hot and heavy.

Your spank should be nice and firm, but you’re not aiming to cause pain. More like a little stinging sensation. 

If you need practice, try slapping your thigh just hard enough to cause a small twinge of pain. It should be about that hard. 

Doggy style and reverse cowgirl are the best positions for spanking. But with some good aim you can perform some solid spanking in regular cowgirl too.

I prefer to use my dominant hand (no pun intended) and go across the body when possible. So if we’re in doggy style, I use my right hand and slap her left buttcheek. This could be a personal preference, but I find it’s best for aiming and firmness. 

2. Tying Her Up

Use something around the house, my favorite (and girls love this too) is using my neckties. 

It adds a little 50 Shades flavor to it. 

I find it’s best to discuss tying up prior to doing it, usually during sexting before a date with a girl I’ve been having sex with for a little while. 

Some guys would disagree and say you should just go for it, guns a’blazing…

But I find that tying a girl up with zero warning is a little too aggressive and could backfire spectacularly with the wrong girl.


3. Hair pulling

Hair pulling is another fun and easy way to assert a little dominance in bed. 

Again, you’re not aiming to cause pain. Instead, the point of hair pulling is to control her movements. 

Collect her hair in a high ponytail with both hands and then hold it very close to the root with one hand. This way you can control how she’s holding her head and arching her back.

This move works best in moderation. Keep holding her hair like this for about a minute before letting go and using your hands to grab her ass.

4. Pinning her down 

This one is a lot of fun. 

You can pin her down on the bed by both her wrists either in the missionary position, to add a little spice, or when she’s laying on her stomach.

Another one girls love is when you pin them up against a wall to initiate sex. 

This is a pure dominant move because you’re showing her you’re not even going to let this make it to the bedroom before you’re ripping her clothes off. 

One way you can pin her against a wall either by her wrists and using your hips to press her lower body against the wall too. 

Or, you can hold her by her waist and push her butt into the wall and control her that way. 

This allows her hands to wander and for her to play with you too.

5. Dirty talk

Physical moves aside, dirty talk can be incredibly effective at signaling dominance in bed. 

Whisper in her ear to let her know you’re in charge in no uncertain terms and watch her give herself to you.

There are a LOT of things you can do with dirty talk… click here to see my comprehensive guide on talking dirty to hot girls

JUST IN: 3 of the Best Dirty Talk Secrets I Know…

6. Aftercare

An important but often overlooked aspect of dominance is how you handle yourself and the relationship afterward. 

As Men’s Health notes, aftercare is essential to maintaining a happy and healthy sexual relationship.

If you just dominated someone, even lightly, they probably loved it. 

However, you want to make sure that she is still fully aware that you care about her and aren’t just using her like some piece of meat. 

If you allow her insecurities to creep into the relationship, “good luck” is just about the only advice I have left for you. 

So don’t just jump out of bed after you come. Stick around for a few minutes at least, cuddle and caress her, and talk about how hot that just was. 

She’ll appreciate it — and you’ll continue to get hot sex in return time after time.

Honorable Mentions

The six above are a great start, but there’s a lot more moves and tricks you can learn to continue to develop your masculine persona in the bedroom. Here are a few others that *barely* didn’t make the cut.

  • Choking
  • Edging (not allowing her to come)
  • Role playing
  • Manhandling (carrying her, throwing her on the bed, etc.)
  • Biting

The #1 Thing That Can DESTROY Your Hopes of Being Dominant (& What to Do Instead…)

Picture this…


You’re talking dirty to this girl you just brought home, letting her know how you’re going to take control and dominate her. Telling her how she’s never had sex like this before in her life. 

You push her up against the wall and things are getting steamy. She’s biting your lip as she unbuckles your belt and slides her hand down your underwear.

Then you carry her into the bed and she strips for you.

This is shaping up like it’s going to be an epic session…


45 seconds after you slide inside her, you can’t help yourself and you come too quickly.

All that sexual energy, all that tension that built up now comes crashing down. She’s left disappointed. You feel ashamed. It’s a mess. 

Fortunately, in this new video I’ll show you the surprisingly simple way to stay hard and last as long as you need to in bed.

Stop “thinking about baseball” or trying to count to 1,000…

…this new method will allow you to remain completely present and enjoy every moment of sex and still last longer…

And all you have to do?

Eat a little bit more at each meal.

Seriously… on days when you think you’re gonna have sex… eat more of these 5 foods.

Check out this video today to make sure you’re able to satisfy any girl, any time, anywhere:

[VIDEO] 5 Foods That Give You “Superhuman Sexual Stamina” & Hardness


Ariel Vagus

About the author

  • I don’t know, with the way things are nowadays, it all depends on your partner. How far she/he’s willing to ? And are you also willing to get your freak on? lol.
    My friends say that I’m “stupid”, not stupid dumb. Stupid “funny”, like my perspective of things.

    Well, I need your help with something. We had a discussion about our “body counts”, are the stats different, or affected by gender?

    Stop by have a read on us.


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